Season: Winter 2018
Location: Mt. Pleasant, SC
So it dawned on me, after roughly 120 blog posts of atrocious, humorous, perplexing, or in the rare occasion nice dates that everyone has their own just as entertaining. I’m accepting date tell-alls… apply within 😉 This story was a humorous one told to me over the phone. I laughed the whole time with her use of inflection, so hopefully it can be construed in a whimsical light… or at least flashlight.
“So what are you doing after work?”
“Going home and staying in with the pups.”
“Oh! Wanna go to lunch?”
No… did you not just–
“Well, I don’t have money to do that; I’m just going to fix something at-“
“Come to lunch with me. My treat.'”
Sigh. Why can’t I tell people no?
[Went to lunch and shared gumbo and popcorn shrimp]
“So, where to next?”
“Well, I’m going home.”
“Okay, cool! I’ll just follow you.”
What? NO!
“Okay, dude.”
“Yeah, I noticed you were in pajamas.”
Yeah, because I want you OUT OF MY HOUSE
I said yes to lunch, not 8 hours of hanging out with you!
Mistake.
Guess what we ended up doing? WALKING AROUND THE MALL.
Then Pinkberry and then a chocolate shop.
Hold up~ someone say chocolate? I may not be so opposed if this is it… but that wasn’t it.
We stroll back to my house, with his car blatently parked out front. Homeboy does not get in his car. Homeboy comes inside.
I got back in my pajamas and he is NOT taking hints. He sat on my couch and ate MY chocolate. That’s the thing about people buying stuff for you
Gets up and puts his hat on.
“Oh, you’re heading out?”
“No. I’m hanging with you like I said I would.”
What business do you have here? I think your work here is done. You’ve driven me out of my mind.
“So what are doing with the rest of your night?”
We just ate a pound of chocolate, walked around the mall, you consumed my day- I want to go to sleep!
“I’m probably gonna call it a night, dude.”
Honestly, for your safety: please leave. I was done with him since 2pm and it is now 7.
Rustling with the bag of chocolate, he removed some and slipped them into a napkin he must have had in his pocket.
“I had a really good time today…”
I know his ass isn’t leaning in for a kiss. As he advanced towards me, I slapped a hug on him and opened my door.
“See you at work tomorrow.”
Saving my eye roll for when the door was closed, I forced a “ha, yeah.”
Tart Date Whom Tried To Be Sweet
IngredientsCrust
- 1 box yellow cake mix
- 1/2 cup butter, melted
- 1 egg
- 1 tsp lime zest
Center
- 1 8 oz cream cheese, softened
- 2 1/4 cup powdered sugar
- 2 eggs
- 1/8 cup fresh lime juice
- 1/8 cup tequila
- 1 tsp vanilla
- 1 tsp lime zest
Instructions
- Preheat oven to 350 degrees F. Line 8×8 baking dish with foil. Spray foil with non-stick cooking spray.
- In a bowl, mix cake mix, butter, egg and 1 teaspoon zest until combined.
Press the mixture into the bottom of baking dish, forming a crust. - With an electric mixer, beat cream cheese, powdered sugar, vanilla, lime juice, eggs and zest. Mix until creamy, about 3-4 minutes.
- Pour over crust and bake for 40-45 minutes. The edges will be slightly brown and center might appear not set.
- Remove from oven and let cool for 20 minutes. Sprinkle with powdered sugar. Store in the refrigerator.
Dates and Cakes 