Season: Summer 2019
Location: Downtown Pensacola
This one isn’t even about the momentary guy…. maybe it never has been.
Another double trouble night ahead, we drank our Pedialyte as part of our pre-30’s new regiment, and the the one club in Pensacola.
It was a last-minute decision to make our way to the only club in Pensacola, but I was already dressed up with nowhere to go. I had just left a first date and wasn’t ready to end my night yet. The best friend slipped something on and we emerged through the smoke into the piano bar.
Okay, okay, there was no smoke. But there certainly was a little lingering fog due to excessive humidity. We scanned the room, ordered a drink, and then proceeded to the club room.
After an hour of fighting for space with our elbows in a room full of people that didn’t care that our hips really did not lie, we made it back to the piano bar.
We stood by a table on the far left side where two gentlemen were seated. The one closest to me with the most voluminous brown hair I’ve ever seen on a man in real life, offered me his barstool.
“No I’m fine standing,” I replied.
He insisted.
The blonde best friend (mine) found a seat on my right and hey little mind to the curly haired friend in a button-up.
Honestly…. I’m not even positive if he was wearing that but…. I certainly had my fill that night… so I did something right ;)The gentleman with voluminous hair directly to my left sparked up conversation, while the curly hair guy leaned in and listened.
They were painfully military, like 96% of the men in this town and so I inquired of their origin. He glowed about Boston and hinted that they “weren’t your typical massholes.” To confirm that fact, he revealed possibly four sentences in, he was married.Joking with the other military guy, I inquired if he had a wife or husband. Flashing a white smile, he replied neither.
The conversation continued with both gentlemen about the great city of Boston as the blonde best friend smiled and flashed her baby blue eyes. After a few rounds of drinks that the boys both sponsored, her hand was laced in the curly-haired’s hand.Gosh I seen this movie, can we please have a different ending? Annoyed that, yet again, I was almost a pawn to get to the best friend: the gatekeeper even though I’ve outgrown my awkward phase.
Okay…. we know that’s a lie, but I embrace awkward and look pretty damn good with it, okay? If you can’t embrace your quirks, what’s the point?
Bitter as the half of a lemon with seeds fully intact, I kept it together.
It wasn’t about the bachelor before us.
It wasn’t about her trying to win this guy over me.
It wasn’t even about seeking and receiving more male attention then me every single time.
It was about constantly feeling in a competition and being picked last every single time.
One of my biggest insecurities is still being the Duff. My reputation has been the gatekeeper for my hotter friends. I’d love to say that any guy that’s given me a chance hasn’t regretted it, but so many have hardly touch the surface with me before pursuing their curiosity of the blonde next door… Or in the next bedroom.
I know comparing yourself to someone else is a sure way to take your self-esteem. Mine is so full of water come out as well be a collection of fish with some rocksIt’s like being picked the last for kickball, even as a rec league, it’s still stings.
And my father didn’t even invent the toaster strudel….
So, instead of allowing my bitterness to overcome me again, I sipped the free Yuengling, the Boston conversation from a respectful, married man, and spent the night like it was a check on payday.
It was to no surprise that her squeeze never texted her again. So, for this post, I held the dessert and bit the lemon with 2 shots of gin.
Dates and Cakes 