“Mr. You’re Great But…” Keeps On Coming

Season: Cuffing AKA Winter 2018

Location: Mt. Pleasant Memorial Park

Return with a Vengeance and a Plot Twist…. Click on “Sequel” to see two of the prior posts he earned.  

Catch Up (for your fries)

All caught up? Okay! This guy’s timeline is absurd as far as our dating encounters are concerned.

1. We dated and things seemed to be going AMAZING. We seemed mutually into each other, he trusted me to stay in his home (that he owns) while he hustled off to work, he took me to church as one of our dates, and we did sweet things like danced barefoot in his kitchen.
2. His words relayed things like “I think you’re what I’ve been missing.“
3. He severed things on Thanksgiving of 2017 after I inquired if he was ghosting me.
4. Then his words said things like “I wasn’t ready to stop talking to my friends and making my world about you.” Umm HELLO! When did I EVER ask that or even allude that I would ever ask something as outlandish and controlling as that? You must have me confused with someone else.
5. Then, he reached back out and I wasn’t eager to give him another chance. I thought that was a fair reaction– I’m not a doormat for muddy boots.
6. Then, he friend requested my best friend, proceeded to hit on her, and then asked if we were still roommates. 
7. When I called him out on it (and told him to eff-off) he claimed he was reaching out to her in order to regain my good graces. WHAT
8. Ages later, (at the end of summer) he reached out to catch up and learn that I had no intentions of dying in Charleston, much less stay here too much longer than 2018. At THAT meeting, he confessed since we’ve parted ways, his life has been shit. Also at that meeting, he said those four words: “I think I love you.” 
9. Upon learning I was moving, his most recent statement added to the shock factor of this dude. “I thought we were going to pursue a relationship?” With everything in me, I tried to refrain from throwing my head back laughing. 
10. THEN, he said, “The whole reason I pushed you away on Thanksgiving two years ago is because… I’m bi and I wasn’t sure how you would respond to that and if you would accept me and want to be a part of that.”

Mind you, this is NOT the first bisexual guy I’ve talked to. This is no slight to those that identify as bisexual, but it’s not really something I’ve ever been able to wrap my head around. If you like girls, then hunt for double d’s, hourglass shame, hormonal woah-man. If you like dudes, hunt for chiseled or grizzly, deep voice or accented, and masculine men. If you like both… pick a team! Flip a coin if you’re that indecisive, but I’ll never understand swinging on both sides of the swing-set. I don’t thing that’s a saying but, how many sides do you swing on? Ha HA! I might be onto something, besides dick-loving dudes.

Do not be deceived by its colorful form; this is an ordinary cheesecake. Regardless of how you swirl it, how you mix it, or how much artificial dye you add to the batter, two things will remain the same:
      1. That bulldog baby is still gonna wanna lick the bowl
   2. It’s going to taste like a symphony of cream cheese, sour cream, sugar, vanilla, and whipped eggs. 

This guy and I were destined to fall apart from the beginning.

Regardless of the shell [nilla wafers, oreos, graham crackers, circus animal crackers, ginger snaps, and even grizzly bear teddy grahams], the core remains the same. It still requires the same amount of cooking time, care, and chilling overnight before enjoying. That’s kind of the way I feel about this fellow, chill overnight, or overall AND….