Why do I continue to do this? It all starts out the same. Beautiful, stunning, wow your eyes, as they stare into them intently with a longing. A seemingly affectionate glow then tainted by the words: I want you so bad.
That’s it.
That’s the phrase right there that translates: run (v).
I know it. That’s the phrase that makes me no more desired then a lustful venture. Temporary and fast, that’s what I am … to three of them now.
- They’re not looking for my quirks and if I’m girlfriend material
- They’re always looking into my eyes when they say it and holding me with a bit of applied pressure
- They always have a hard-on when they say it
If only they knew what this does to me. Not in the curling your toes, arching your back kind of way…
No.
More in the self-loathing, shame-stirring type of way. The way that makes you want to drown your hollow shell. Keep feeling it.
And although I’m sure you’re dying to know if I’m a freak and to what degree, the ways our bodies synchronize or don’t, and if you’ll want this again or if it was a mistake… I am panicking.
I fear this is all some men see when they look at me. Especially when they look at me that way and say those words– instantly, I’ve been launched into the 20’s where I’m just a pretty face but, my words aren’t warranted and my presence isn’t allowed without male supervision.
I wish this illustrated my pouting stance, but I’m not quite as fabulous.
The reason I allowed this phrase to affect me is, because these are guys that meant something. Made me feel something and then made me feel nothing.
My emotions are depleted and it makes me want to take a hiatus. Beyond the walls of a simple compliment is feelings less than lucky.
No one’s feeling lucky cake
- Bake two 9″ round cakes of your favorite flavor, from your favorite grandma, or it’s not a crock if you seek assistance from Betty or Pilsb.
- Once those are cooled, spread chocolate frosting on each layer and stack them.
- Spread the frosting evenly all over on top.
- Strategically arrange the green m&m’s into a 4 leaf clover.
- Cut most of the kit-kat bars in half and fence in the cake, just like these words fenced me in
Dates and Cakes 
New job is in a new twist on my usual, and building my team. It has been a lot. But the writing IS a passion of mine, I hope to get in the habit again. Argh, habits are hard to build, even ones we used to have!
You are a great fan Miss Steph. Very encouraging!
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Wow, well good for you in the new job!! That’s a valid point about habits. Aww well your stories and captivating writer’s voice make it easy!
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I think followers really help build confidence, BUT, I am not blind enough to think all followers read what they “like”. So we shouldn’t give them too much credence, girl. If you have a book idea, don’t wait for your blog to give you confidence!
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More and more words of wisdom. You’re amazing, Anne. Idk what my book would be these days!!
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How are you doing, my cyber friend? I am coming back from my hiatus, have so much to share, and catch up with where you have been and are. How are you Steph??
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I had a hiatus too!! I’m amazing!! How are you?! Yesssss let’s catch up! I gave up dating for 44 days! My dating fast ends Jan 1 IF I decide to jump back into it then :p lol What about you?
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You are so smart and witty Steph. I am glad you took a hiatus. I started a new job 2 months ago that has happily changed my life, but writing is still a passion and I am determined to publish again this year. How about you? Will you compile your cook book?
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AWWW! You’re gonna make me cry! OHMYGOSH! UPDATE! So how’s the new job? What is it? And yeah, writing seems to be a passionate gift of yours. I learn SO much from your posts and appreciate SO much the time you take to read my posts and give me honest and encouraging feedback. You the real MVP.
As for the cookbook…. that’s gonna have to wait. I really want to gather a more consistent followers first since it is an investment…. sigh lol
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